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Dr Ilze Van der Merwe
B.A. (Psych) (RAU) B.A Honn (Psych)(RAU) M.A. Research Pysch (Cum Laude)(RAU) M.A. Couns. Psych (Cum Laude)(RAU) D.Litt et Phil.(RAU)
Divorce Attorney Cape Town
Admitted Attorney of the High Court of South Africa.
B.Bus.Sci (UCT), LLB (UCT), PDLP (UCT)
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3 benefits of mediation during divorce proceedings

Try divorce mediation if you can’t see an end to your separation battles

Divorce can be a messy affair, with tempers flaring and strong emotions coming into play every time you meet with your spouse to discuss the terms. In far too many cases, one or both spouses begin to hate the other and want to do anything to hurt them – including gaining as many of the assets as possible in the settlement.

When raw emotions are involved, it’s hard to see clearly and make or understand a well-reasoned argument. It’s also difficult to comprehend the long-term repercussions of a drawn-out and vicious battle with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. The longer the fight goes on, the more people you’ll affect – your children, your family and your friends.

This is why sometimes it’s best to get an outsider to come in and mediate the proceedings. With a neutral person in the room – a lawyer who has been hired by both parties and is working for both of your best interests – you’re likely to reach an agreement much quicker.

What you can gain from mediation

There are many benefits to divorce mediation, including:

  1. You’ll have a calming presence when tempers flare – A mediator isn’t emotionally invested in the proceedings and can, therefore, keep calm and listen to both sides of the argument. This person will also be able to see the logic behind the arguments and advise both parties appropriately. Your personal lawyer doesn’t always have enough information to provide you with the right advice as they’re mostly hearing only your side of the story. They’ve also been hired to fight for your best interests, and you wouldn’t want them to concede that your spouse has a better claim.
  1. You’ll likely come to a settlement much quicker – Court battles can go on for months in some divorce cases. During this time, you could lose a lot personally – never mind what you will spend on legal costs. Think about how a protracted fight could affect the rest of your family and your friends, and especially whether or not they may have to take sides at some point.
  1. It’s more likely that you’ll be able to form an amicable relationship with your ex afterwards – Without the pain and anguish of a divorce battle that goes on and on, you may be able to move past the divorce and get on with your life much quicker. This is incredibly important when you have children. Constant bickering between a mother and father can lead to all kinds of emotional problems in the kids as they grow up. However, if you’re able to get past the anger and comfortably be in the same room as your ex, your children will benefit greatly.

Contact Simon today to ask about getting a mediator for your divorce case. It could be the turning point to an amicable solution for both you and your ex-spouse.

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